


The flower of my love // BokuAka

by seijohlad



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Someone dies, angsty, bokuaka except it isn't actually bokuaka, bokuroo - Freeform, hanahaki, im so sorry, kenhina - Freeform, platonic kuroken, you will cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:21:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27896737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seijohlad/pseuds/seijohlad
Summary: HANAHAKI DISEASE˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚    ❀" A disease in which unrequited love results in the person throwing up flower petals until the flowers clog up their respiratory system and die. "//Not that Akaashi likes Bokuto. Obviously, he didn't. So why, why did it hurt him so bad to see him with Kuroo?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma
Comments: 9
Kudos: 53





	The flower of my love // BokuAka

**Author's Note:**

> started: 11/29/20 at 2:30am lol  
> published: 12/05/20
> 
> happy birthday Akaashi :D
> 
> i am. very sorry. i love bokuaka very much but i also love pain  
> i hope you enjoy?,, just in case, prepare tissues.

It was on a chilly October afternoon. Bokuto had called Akaashi to hang out, as usual. Akaashi brushed his hair, and dressed into casual clothing. Bokuto had texted him around thirty minutes ago, but Akaashi didn't mind, actually, he was used to this kind of last minute hang outs. Walking quickly past the people, he let out a sigh, watching his breath form a white fog. Bokuto liked to call those, 'handmade clouds', and as childish as it was, Akaashi liked it. The center of the city was always so animated. Children running everywhere, constant chatter, the sound of cars, steps, clothes ruffling, and some bickering here and there. Akaashi got used to this atmosphere after all these years. The cold hair hitting against his face, his black curls getting messed up again. As he let out another sigh, he heard his name getting called. Looking towards the direction of the caller, he, obviously, saw Bokuto,,, and Kuroo. Akaashi felt quite surprised, why would the owl ask him to hang out together if he is already hanging out with Kuroo? Making his way towards the two, Akaashi greeted them politely, as he usually does. 

As the time passed, Akaashi noticed their comportment was different from usual. Bokuto kept staring at Kuroo, with a smile Akaashi had never seen him make. Kuroo glanced at Bokuto every so often, complimenting him and touch him, under any pretext. Akaashi eventually guessed something was going on between, and, with that neutral look of his, looked at Bokuto.

"- Say, Bokuto-san.  
\- Hm? Yes, Akaashi?  
\- Are you and Kuroo-san dating?"

The two of them blushed and Kuroo nodded, soon followed by a "Yeah! We are!" from Bokuto. Akaashi smiled at them, continuing on their original conversation. However, somewhere in withing the setter, grew a faint pain that crawled all the way up to his throat. Akaashi felt like coughing, although the feeling soon left. After about two hours of being with the two aces, Akaashi decided to go back home. Right before he left, the two now-boyfriends kissed each other, and the black haired adult made his way back home. The breeze felt colder than usual, and, for some reason, Akaashi couldn't notice his surroundings. The only thing he could notice, was the memory of Bokuto and Kuroo kissing, and the growing pain in his chest. He blew on his hands to warm them up, quickly putting them in the pockets of his trench coat. He finally arrived to his house, sighing. He felt a weight in his lungs, and didn't know why. Did he swallow something the wrong way? No, probably not, it wouldn't feel this heavy. After not finding any answers to this feeling, Akaashi decided to ignore it. Over the course of a few days, Akaashi came to the conclusion that this feeling was there when he thought of Bokuto. It was slightly more painful now, not something he couldn't handle, but not something he could completely ignore either.

\------------------------------

The first time he realized what the feeling actually was, was during a November night. Sleep wasn't coming to him, so he started scrolling on social media, more precisely Instagram. Bokuto's post appeared on his feed, which featured himself and Kuroo, holding each other, and the caption an 'I love you' accompanied by Bokuto's usual emoticons and punctuation. The feeling in Akaashi's chest only grew, as he felt an urge to cough. Putting a hand over his mouth, he started coughing uncontrollably, and, when he was finally done, Akaashi's hand was stained with blood, and in the middle of his palm, sat a small flower petal. His eyes widened, and he made his way to the bathroom, cleaning the blood from his hand. He put the petal away, carefully handling it in order not to tear it up. Akaashi sat on his bed, staring at the petal in his hand. The first answer coming to his mind was obvious: Hanahaki. But he wasn't in love with anyone, not that he knew of. Maybe he had accidentally eaten a petal. That possibility was clearly the least reasonable one, but Akaashi decided to believe it. For now.

\-----------------------------

Akaashi liked his birthdays simple. Actually, he didn't necessarily celebrate them, rather simply received some birthday wishes from relatives, and sometimes money. Ever since high school, Bokuto was actually the one celebrating his birthday. He'd bring him cake, decorations, and they would spend the day watching movies together. Today, December 5th, was more a relaxing day to pass with Bokuto rather than a birthday to Akaashi. He responded to all the usual birthday wishes from people who didn't talk to him the rest of the year, but he had gotten used to it. However, a specific text caught his attention. A text coming from Kenma. Akaashi and Kenma got along together, mainly because of Bokuto and Kuroo, however it is true they don't hang out on the daily, as they both have their own occupations. The text read: "Hey, I heard Kuroo say him and Bokuto are coming to your house to surprise you. Good luck. And happy birthday". The text would've sounded cold to anyone, but Akaashi knew that Kenma was sincere, which is why he responded with a "Thank you, I'll deal with them" before shutting off his phone. His phone wallpaper displayed a picture of Fukurodani's volleyball team, with Bokuto and Akaashi in the middle. Bokuto's smiles were always this bright. This pretty. Bokuto was always this attractive. And his personality only made him more attractive. Akaashi didn't want to admit it, but maybe he liked Bokuto.

The doorbell rang suddenly. Akaashi knew who it was, obviously, and he had gotten dressed up. He opened the door, immediately getting greeted by a pair of arms imprisoning him, followed by laughs. Letting the two in, the setter noticed the bags they were holding.

"- You didn't have to.  
\- Are you kidding me? It's your birthday, Akaashi! I won't let any of your birthdays go without celebrating them!  
\- That's very nice of you Bokuto-san, however you don't need to.  
\- Come on Akaashi! Don't be like that!"

He sighed.

"- Fine. Thanks, you two."

The three of them started setting up the decorations. Akaashi didn't count the number of times him and Kuroo had to keep Bokuto from falling, as the two-toned haired man didn't pay attention to what he was climbing on and kept stumbling. After a good hour (and a few bruises for the three of them), Akaashi's house was finally decorated. Bokuto seemed extremely proud of himself. The smile on his face, the laugh he let out, his slightly messier than usual hair, all those things made Akaashi's heart flutter, although this happy and lovely feeling soon got replaced by the now usual pain. The setter excused himself, and went to his bathroom, coughing out a few petals and blood. His sink was splattered with blood and flowers petals. He stared at them for a moment, taking back his breath. It was the first time this many petals came out during one of his attacks. He knew staying in the bathroom for too long would make his friends worry, so he quickly cleaned up the sink and his face, before going back out. Meanwhile, Kuroo had set the table with the cake they bought, lit up the candles and stopped Bokuto from accidentally ruining the cake. Akaashi smiled, and sat on a chair as the two others sang 'Happy Birthday' to him. He blew the candles after wishing, wishing for Bokuto's happiness.

\-----------------------------

Christmas. A holiday to celebrate with your loved ones. Akaashi didn't really celebrate it as a kid, because his parents insisted that he already had a gift for his birthday. But, as he did for his birthday, Bokuto usually spent Christmas with Akaashi (and sometimes other people). So when the holiday date was approaching and the ace still hadn't texted his friend about it, Akaashi started worrying. He checked his phone; staring at the contact name, deciding whether or not he should text him. After a good five minutes of staring and mental debating, he clicked on the text icon, his fingers running through the screen quickly.

You: Hello, Bokuto-san.  
dumbass: AKAASHIIIII  
You: Yes, that's me.  
dumbass: need something?  
You: Actually, yes  
You: Are we spending Christmas together?  
dumbass: IM SORRRY IM SPENDING XMAS WITH KUROOOO  
You: Oh, I see. Enjoy your time with him then.

Akaashi had gotten attacks slightly more often since his birthday. They would manifest each time he thought of Bokuto. However, no matter how much he had gotten used to them, the pain was still so difficult to bare. Coughs following each other, making breathing difficult, blood splattering around, and petals flowing out. When his coughs finally started to calm down, Akaashi felt something stuck in his throat, keeping him from breathing. He started coughing again, and finally, an entire flower landed on his right palm. A gentle, beautiful violet. It was the first time an entire flower came out of Akaashi's lungs, and it was painful. Akaashi was left out of breath, and he kneeled on the ground while trying to breathe. He gripped onto the white coat sitting on his body for warmth. It took him a while to get a regular breathing pattern back. Looks like he wasn't getting out of this so soon. 

Akaashi spent Christmas alone, the only thing keeping him company being the snow outside and Kenma's texts.

\-----------------------------

January came with all the rush of deadlines for mangakas, which meant Akaashi had significantly more work than usual. He came back home after two days straight at his office, exhausted. The good side to this was that he hadn't had the time to think of Bokuto, which meant his attacks had been coming less often than before. The former setter sighed, removing his coat, scarf and beanie, before putting his coat back on, shivering. He had gotten more and more sensitive to the cold, and now staying without something covering him seemed impossible. Even under his coat, Akaashi was still feeling cold. He turned on the AC, and gradually relaxed. He looked at his phone; no message from Bokuto since the new year wishes. He had also spent New Year with Kuroo. Thankfully, Akaashi had been invited to spend it with Kenma and Hinata, which meant he wasn't utterly alone, and he was thankful to them. Akaashi decided to text Bokuto; maybe the owl had thought Akaashi was mad at him, and that was why he didn't text him? At least he hoped so.

Akaashi clicked on the text icon, thinking about what he should say. He thought a simple statement that he missed him would be enough. He was talking to Bokuto after all, no need to make something complicated. The response didn't take long, as expected from the owl.

You: Bokuto-san  
dumbass: HEY HEY HEYYY  
You: That was a fast answer  
dumbass: i already was on my phone sooo  
You: Makes sense  
You: I was thinking that we haven't talked a lot recently  
dumbass: YEAH, im sorry i was spending lots of time with kuroo :((  
You: I figured. It's okay, I don't mind  
dumbass: when we're both free let's hang out!!!  
You: Sure

What a liar. Of course he minded, but he'd never tell it to Bokuto. Ah, there he went. The usual pain, the usual breathlessness, and coughs. A few small flowers fell onto Akaashi, and he sighed when he finally managed to breathe properly again. He had done some research on what he had. The Hanahaki Disease. A disease caused by unrequited love. The victim is either cured if their love is returned, or with surgery, causing them to lose all feelings for the person they had loved. If the victim isn't cured, they eventually die after either months or a year at most. The symptoms are: difficulty to breathe, coughing flowers/petals, blood, especially when thinking of the loved person. When approaching their death, flowers start to grow on the victim's body. And Akaashi knew very well he either had to fall out of love with Bokuto, or he'd die.

\-----------------------------

It was now June. The past few months had passed by so fast, Akaashi hadn't even noticed his condition getting worse and worse. He had mostly worked the whole time, sometimes hanging out with Bokuto and Kuroo when they invited him, or with Kenma and Hinata. His attacks now often left him out of breath, and it happened that a flower gets stuck in his throat, which made it harder to breathe on the daily. Hanging up his last call of the day with one of his clients, Akaashi drank a few sips of his favorite drink, iced coffee. It was late at night, and Akaashi knew he'd be staying at his office until even later. He didn't necessarily mind, he had gotten used to late working. He let out a sigh, closing his eyes for a second. He saw his phone's screen light up with a notification. Kuroo had sent him a text, which was quite surprising. They didn't usually talk together, so Akaashi wondered what was happening. Opening the text, he quickly read it.

Kuroo: Uh, hey Akaashi, idk what happened between you and Bokuto but can you tell him he doesn't bother you? He's been sad all day because he wanted to text you but he thought he'd bother you  
You: Huh? Of course he doesn't bother me. Bokuto-san can text me whenever he wants.   
Kuroo: Thanks! I wasn't expecting you to answer actually, why are you still awake?  
You: I could ask you the same, I'm doing some work.

As soon as he sent that text, another notification popped up, this time from Bokuto.

dumbass: AKAASHIIII IS IT TRUE I DONT BOTHER YOU??? 🥺🥺  
You: Of course. We're friends, Bokuto-san, you don't bother me.  
dumbass: You're so niiiice!!!! But it's getting late, you should go to sleep!  
You: I'm still at work, however so should you.  
dumbass: I'm not sleepy  
You: Fine, I suppose. Don't stay up too late.  
dumbass: Don't stay up too late either!! Your health is important!

'So is yours,,,' thought Akaashi, letting out a sigh. Akaashi coughed a bit, knowing what was going to happen. Each time he talked to Bokuto, thought of Bokuto, or saw anything related to him, he had an attack. He coughed again, and again, blood and flowers falling everywhere on his desk. His eyes started watering from the pain. It hurt him so much. So much. When the coughs finally stopped, he was panting, tears running down his cheeks. He wiped his tears away, slowly taking his breath back. Oh how he hated those stupid feelings. 

\-----------------------------

September rhymed with Bokuto's birthday. Akaashi had everything prepared: the gift, the decorations, the act. However, when he woke up on September 21st, an aching pain shot through his left arm. Taking his arm out of his pajama's sleeve, he widened his eyes at the sight of it: blossoming violets, all over his arm from his shoulder to his elbow. Well, there only were a few, but Akaashi's mind knew exactly what that meant. And he didn't want to present himself in front of Bokuto like this. He touched the flowers with a shaking hand, noticing they were really well planted. He wouldn't be able to get them off. His chest felt heavy, and he knew it was because of those stupid flowers. Akaashi stayed at home, instead of going to Bokuto's party. And this last one definitely noticed it, and got extremely worried.

dumbass: Akaashi? Where are you? 🥺  
You: Sorry, I'm not able to come.  
You: I got suddenly sick. Sorry again. Happy birthday.  
dumbass: Oh,, okay! Rest well Akaashi!  
You: Thank you, Bokuto-san.

It was painful to know that Bokuto was now sad because of him. He felt another attack coming up, except this time, a new pain rose in his left arm as well. When he had finished taking his breath back, surrounded by flowers and blood, he noticed a new flower had blossomed on his arm. And it hurt. Not only emotionally, but physically too this time. His arm felt like it was tearing apart. Akaashi was crying, the pain was impossible to bear. It eventually calmed down after some time, but he was unable to do anything needing physical effort. It was so painful.

\-----------------------------

It was now a year since Bokuto and Kuroo started dating. Akaashi had unfollowed both of them on social media, not wanting to trigger his attacks more. Plus, the less he saw Bokuto, the easier it would be for him to fall out of love, right? November felt colder than usual for some reasons. Or maybe it was just Akaashi. Both of his arms were covered with flowers now, shining blue violets, some purple-ish ones, and a few had started blossoming on his chest. He felt a constant pain from those places, and another one from his lungs. He was currently at home, working and scrolling through his Instagram explore page. Looking back, maybe he should have straight up blocked Bokuto and Kuroo. One of their posts popped up on his feed, catching his eyes. Eyes that ended up widening, as he started coughing again. He was surrounded by flowers, those oh so pretty violets he had gotten sick of seeing. His glasses fell down on his knees, and as he put them back on, his phone rang. Ignoring the pain in his hands from the flowers blossoming, he answered the call, voice shaking from the pain and the tears.

"- ,,, Hello?,,  
\- Akaashi? Is something wrong? Maybe I shouldn't have called this late.  
\- Oh, Kenma,, no, don't worry, I'm fine. What is it?"

He tried his best to keep a normal voice tone to not worry his friend.

"- If you say so. I just wanted to check up on you. Well. To tell the truth Kuroo and Bokuto were worried because they said you didn't answer their texts and calls anymore.  
\- Oh, is that so?,, I'm fine, sorry for worrying them.   
\- Okay. Anything you want me to tell them?  
\- Hm,, (he closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pain) Just tell them to not worry. Oh, and tell Bokuto-san not to come to my house, even if he has the spare of the keys.  
\- Alright."

Akaashi had given the spare of the keys of his house to Bokuto a long time ago, after this one insisted he wanted them to be able to visit him whenever. He now deeply wished he hadn't. The last thing he wanted was that Bokuto saw him like this. He would hate for that to happen. After hanging up on Kenma, he sighed, relieved he didn't have an attack while he was there. Akaashi knew full well he didn't have much time left. Maybe it was for the best.

\-----------------------------

December 5th. Compared to last year, Akaashi's condition was awful. A year ago, he still could breathe properly, and his Hanahaki wasn't visible. Today, his face was practically covered in flowers. His whole body ached because of those exact same flowers, and most of his house was stained by blood and those way too familiar violets. And there he was. Laying in the middle of his room, suffering. The pain was so unbearable. Each breath he took felt like the last, and was so difficult to take. As the bell rang, Akaashi couldn't take a breath anymore. He struggled, mouth wide open, tears streaming down his cheeks, struggled to breathe. When finally, the world turned to black, and he fell asleep,,, forever.

The door opened. Bokuto entered Akaashi's house, genuinely worried for the setter. Why didn't he open the door? Why didn't he answer his texts and his calls? Why didn't he talk to him anymore? Bokuto called out Akaashi's name. Multiple times. He looked around the messy, dark house. Something felt off. He made his way to his friend's room, a bouquet of violets in his right hand. As he pushed the door leading to his room, he saw the blood splattering the room, and the petals and flowers covering the whole room. And finally, he saw Akaashi's cold body, laying down on his bed. Bokuto rushed to his side, trying to wake him up. Dropping the bouquet on the ground, he took in Akaashi's appearance. He looked so much paler, thinner, and weaker than last time Bokuto saw him (which was nearly five months ago). He shook his shoulders, screaming his name over and over again. Bokuto started crying, and sobbed very hard. He gripped onto Akaashi, sobbing the loss of his best friend.

It was on December 5th, that Bokuto lost his best friend to a one-sided love he wasn't aware of.


End file.
